I have had many cycles of responses to the question "do you have any kids?"; "how many children do you have?"; "do you want children?".......
I don't want to make these people feel uncomfortable and yet, I don't want to be vague, and I also don't want to talk about IT sometimes because I get a sinking feeling in my heart and my bottom lip wants to quiver and my voice begins to shake and I don't want to get tears in my eyes so I must find a way to stop it from escalating.
What I do now is tell them the truth. My intentions are to be honest and fill in as many blanks as possible in a three sentence period of time.
So, what do I say?
"We would love to have children and it has been a bit involved. We recently completed our second IVF that has been difficult to recover from........things are not looking good and it breaks my heart. It has been hard."
50% of the time, I get compassion.
50% of the time, I get advice.
100% of the time, my cards are on the table. I genuinely believe that people care.
Right now, for me, saying the pat sentence says it all in a nutshell.
