I have spent the day completing forms for two of my upcoming IVF interviews. I am trying to find humor with a lot of my answers because after all, if I'm not laughing, I'm crying and I'd rather be cracking myself up.

One of the doctors wanted me to fill out my forms online, via email. There were so many files that I could not read because I needed "adobe" and was instructed to click the "install adobe free here" little icon and after 15 minutes of downloading onto my fancy new laptop, Adobe has now completely taken over every aspect of my computer, including this page - EVERYTHING I tell you.

I am very pissed. Now I will be in computer hell because I want everything back the way it was and once I get my Computer Scientist Masters Degree Physicist PhD husband to fix it, I will not see the light of the world wide web for several days. He can design satellites that get rocket launched into the atmosphere but he will claim that my little laptop is kicking his ass and it will take him all weekend to clean it up.

I just want my computer back, the way it was, before I started filling out all of those online medical forms.

I want to email the RE office and tell them I am none too pleased but that is not conducive for the nice office visit that I envision in 2 weeks.

I'm not sure they will appreciate my humor and if I add some true bitchiness into the mix, I'm pretty certain that I'll have a big fat PITA stamped on my chart.

The questionnaires took me about an hour and half to fill out for each office. It didn't matter if it was by hand or online, via email. Many questions were the same but it still takes forever.

When asked about previous IVFs, I stated the facts but called the embryos from IVF#1 mutants (after Rescue ICSI, we had 9 really impressive mutants - one was even XX and XY - or so the PGD results said) and I referred to the embryos from IVF#2 as brats because when 10 excellent embryos turned into 4 blastocysts and all of them preferred the petri dish to my tunnel of love, well, fuck 'em - they were brats.

When asked about any comments, I just stated that I am sad and tired of tests that reveal nothing and that $36,000 in eight months is a hell of a lot of money to spend on nothing and I ended it by welcoming them into my little world.

I really don't care what they think. I am tired. I am SO not interested in more tests.

When asked about financing, I responded that I could also probably get financing for a really fancy new motor home but my husband wouldn't go for that either. He doesn't believe in debt or credit card balances.

So, welcome to my fresh hell. If I don't come back for awhile, know I'm sending you kisses and fairy dust.