Let me just brag and say that my husband rocks.

We have had a rough time. Both of us, as individuals, have had to find a compromise.

There will be an IVF#3.


THERE WILL BE AN IVF#3!!!!!


I will not be going back to Stanford.

I am going to interview doctors in the coming weeks.

If anyone has suggestions about doctors in the Northern California area, I would appreciate some input. Good and bad experiences - you can email me, if you wish.

Needless to say, a lot has been going on in the past few days.

I am struggling with how to cope with the next IVF.

My nature is to be positive, kind, and loving to myself during the nightmarish hell of IVF. I call it my "pool of calm". I have to find a peaceful place and I relax and think good thoughts and caress my belly and encourage my body to keep doing such a good job.

There is so much that is overwhelming, I just have to put myself in another place.

Is it possible to provide a cushion for the fall?

The only thing that gives me the courage to keep trying, is knowing that I am capable of climbing up out of the hole of despair if it should fail again.

I don't stand a chance in hell of getting pregnant without IVF.

I want to have a family, I want to be a mother and grandmother.

I want my family tree to grow more branches.

I am not okay with not being a mother.

My husband wants to have a family. We want a family. He wants us to have the perfect life and is willing to work towards that goal with me.

Did I mention that my husband rocks?