So, I kind of lost it last night.

It was a nail in my coffin that I did not need.

My ex boss (in Southern California) called me last night. We have been playing phone tag. A lot has happened in the three years I have been gone, he married the office manager (a gorgeous bimbo who had one daughter out of wedlock and about 5 abortions in the span of a few years that we worked together). Her pregnancies were always "accidents" and she used abortions like people use BCP's. Needless to say, we were never close. She absolutely drove me crazy and is the most self-absorbed person I have ever met.

We'll call her Barbie. Barbie is a stunner. She is more beautiful than most models. When she walks into a room, heads turn. She is very sweet, just stoooopid.

I shouldn't have been so shocked when she left a message a few months ago to tell me that she is now married, to the doctor. They did not date while I worked there, but I knew he was taken by her looks, hell, everyone was taken by her looks. She got away with a lot and I am sure he enjoys being her sugar daddy.

Barbie is 39 and the he is 58. Her daughter is probably 5 now and the doctor has several grown children. He never wanted more children (had a vasectomy with his first marriage) and clearly, Barbie didn't want children either.

You know what's coming don't you?


Yep. They left a message last night (I happened to be blogging and didn't answer the phone - thank you Lord). They said they want to come visit and they are so happy and in love and then Barbie excitedly announced "We're pregnant!!" and he laughed and said "Barbie wanted me to tell you we're pregnant" and they giggled and laughed and said they'd call me today to set up a time to come visit.



I was frozen by the answering machine. I asked my husband if I really just heard that. I didn't move for about 3 minutes. It took a while to register.



I said, "they are not coming here".

M. said, "you've been blowing them off for too long, it's just a weekend."

I said, "there is no fucking way that I can handle them for 3 days! Are you kidding me? I CANNOT HANDLE IT!!!! It is NOT going to happen, no way, no how, not in this lifetime."

M. said, "look, all the dentists around here suck, we are going to go there if we ever need any kind of dental work and we need to quit blowing them off. It is just a weekend!"



It ain't gonna happen. Over my dead body. I mean it. I cannot handle that.



So, I even woke up in the middle of the night tossing turning about this.

I am at my wit's end. No way in hell are they coming here and I geared myself up to stop them in their tracks.

At 9:00 the phone rang, caller ID showed it to be them, I snatched that phone up so fast and my head was spinning.

It was the doctor. He was on his cell, on his way to Santa Barbara and said we had so much to catch up on.

I stopped him right there and said in a calm, nice manner that everything was wonderful here and we loved where we live but that I have been extremely depressed because of not being able to get pregnant. He knows how much I loved babies and children and he worked with me long enough to know that all I want is to be a mother.

And I said it, "how in the hell did y'all get pregnant??"

He gave a little WTF chuckle, and said that they were just kidding and that Barbie felt bad after they left the message because she knew how hard we had been trying.


NOT FUNNY.

Will it ever end?


They're still not coming here. I don't care if my teeth get shitty work for the rest of my life.