Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Wow. That Sucked.
As I commented in my previous post, I did the nasty yesterday morning. I tested with a home pregnancy test and I saw where the second line is..... but only a faint bit of it. I thought, what kind of crappola is this! I am seeing a bitty piece of a faint line........like a 3 mm piece of a faint second line.

I obsessed over that piece of line and even allowed myself to hope.

I have never seen a faint line before, I have never even seen where the other line is for that matter.

I woke up this morning with heavy cramps and bleeding (my first day is always heavy) and of course, I had to work all day - I mean really...... I work two days a week. Why couldn't it have happened tomorrow. I am too ill to be depressed right now but not too ill to be pissed.

I am pissed at myself for listening to my body hints and pissed at myself for testing, I despise HPT and even blogged about it just ........ummmm......what was it? ....... the previous post? I actually blogged about how I shouldn't test early on my previous post!

I wish I knew how to work my digital camera so y'all could see the shit I got dealt yesterday in that little piece of a line.

1. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
2. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
3. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
4. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
5. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
6. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
7. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
8. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
9. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
10. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
11. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
12. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
13. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
14. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
15. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
16. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
17. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
18. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
19. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
20. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
21. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
22. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
23. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
24. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
25. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
26. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
27. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
28. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
29. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
30. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
31. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
32. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
33. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
34. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
35. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
36. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
37. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
38. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
39. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
40. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
41. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
42. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
43. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
44. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
45. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
46. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
47. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
48. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
49. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
50. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
51. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
52. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
53. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
54. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
55. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
56. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
57. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
58. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
59. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
60. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
61. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
62. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
63. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
64. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
65. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
66. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
67. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
68. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
69. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
70. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
71. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
72. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
73. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
74. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
75. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
76. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
77. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
78. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
79. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
80. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
81. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
82. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
83. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
84. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
85. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
86. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
87. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
88. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
89. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
90. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
91. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
92. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period
93. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
94. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
95. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
96. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
97. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
98. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
99. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.
100. I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.



posted by Julianna · 1/12/2005

18 Comments:
At 9:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...
When will you get a break? I can't believe you saw the second line, even if it was bit part of it and you are not pregnant.

I was so hopeful for you Julianna.

I am sad for you right now. What the hell is going on that you would see another part of a line at a time like this? I cannot imagine seeing that and then starting your period the next day.

I hope you are feeling better.

April  

At 9:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...
When will you get a break? I can't believe you saw the second line, even if it was bit part of it and you are not pregnant.

I was so hopeful for you Julianna.

I am sad for you right now. What the hell is going on that you would see another part of a line at a time like this? I cannot imagine seeing that and then starting your period the next day.

I hope you are feeling better.

April  

At 9:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...
Fuck. Fuck. Motherfucking fuck. I'm so sorry Julianna, so sorry. I really thought this was it for you. I'm so angry on your behalf because it's so fucking unfair and you deserve more than this torture each month.

I'm thinking of you.

Love,
Emily  

At 10:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...
Julianna, I don't know how to say this delicately, and I don't know if it will help, but I feel like you may have had a pregnancy experience. I am reluctant to say "miscarriage", but you had so many symptoms and you had a faint bit of a line and also it happens all the time. "They" say that it happens 60% of the time with women over 38. I am sorry it didn't stick.  

At 2:25 AM, Blogger Jeangenie said...
I'm sorry. :(  

At 5:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...
I'm so sorry.  

At 6:29 AM, Blogger Dee said...
Julianna, I am so sorry. How I was hoping for you....  

At 6:58 AM, Blogger Cricket said...
Julianna,
You are charmingly obsessive.

I am sorry about the results.

BFN SUCKS  

At 7:09 AM, Blogger ~L said...
I am so sorry.  

At 7:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...
Oh sweeite, I'm so sorry :(

Amanda  

At 8:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...
Dang. I'm so sorry.  

At 8:33 AM, Blogger Lori said...
Stupid test. I'm sorry. Don't be so hard on yourself for listening to your body and for hoping - we all do it. One of these days it'll be right.

Take care,

Lori  

At 10:30 AM, Blogger Amyesq said...
1. I will always be there to encourage J through her cycles.
2. I will always be there to encourage J through her cycles.
3. I will always be there to encourange J through her cycles.
4. I will always be there to encourage J through her cycles.
5. I will always be there to encourage J through her cycles.  

At 10:43 AM, Blogger Sandy said...
Ok...I don't swear very often, but I want to right now after reading this post. I hate that bitch Hope. I'm so sorry, my friend. And yes, you did mention that hate hpt.  

At 2:00 PM, Blogger Miss X said...
I am so very sorry Julianna. So, so sorry.
Thinking of you.  

At 5:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...
I hate this. I so wanted to be posting my congrats. Instaed I will say I will continue to hope and pray for you. You really deserve good things to happen to you.  

At 6:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...
I'm so sorry. I've been tricked before too. Fuck.

Moogielou  

At 9:26 PM, Blogger Kristin said...
Amen sister! It has NEVER turned out well when I tested early. Even if I got a second line, early testing has NEVER, EVER had good lasting results. So, I'll join you in your mantra...

I will never do another HPT unless I am at least one day late for my period.

Of course, with both of our bad luck, we are now cycle buddies...LOL...(sorry, gotta grab the grins wherever I can find them...and I can't think of a better person to be cycle buddies with).  

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