Have I told you lately that the world if full of idiots????

That is the challenge my friends:

To remain unaffected by the stupid idiots of this world.

Feel free to allow your eyes to glaze or just skip on over to your next blog. There comes a time in everyone's life where one shitty thing is enough. Three shitty things that happen are more than enough. When more than four shitty things happen, a strange phenomenon occurs. They all cancel each other out into a fog sensory overload. Too much to bare and too much to hear.

You know. If a friend tells you about her bad day. By the time she gets past the third bad thing that happened, well, the fog rolls in. Feel free to skip the rest until I type "DO NOT FUCK WITH ME" in its own paragraph. Go ahead..............scroll............. Here comes the fog:

Just the facts:

:: M. did NOT want to do another IVF. He feels the results of IVF#1 couldn't be more conclusive.

:: The main reason and deciding factor that M. decided to go ahead with IVF #2 was because the nurse said THREE times "don't worry about the meds........I can get you the meds."

Now people. For those of you who do not already know, the meds alone are $5,756.00.

::We have to pay cash BEFORE IVF begins. Yes, M. writes a check. Something about only being married three years that his money is still his money. The sum total of the IVF#1 check was somewhere around $12,000.00. NOT including the meds! Last time PGD study got us our meds and this time a nurse said "I can get you the meds". CLUE PHONE IS RINGING when she is whispering every time she says it! HELLO!

So in two weeks, M. thinks he is to write another $12,000.00 check and that doesn't include the assisted hatching that I will convince him of when the time comes. I think that is another $2,000.00.

Now people, if anyone is still with me. The $5,756.00 of meds is a HUGE help. Made M. nod his head in the affirmative as a matter of fact.

:: I am looking at a 2 month IVF total of $30,000.00 (I am not good at math but add IVF #1 + IVF#2= $25,000.00 plus the $5,756.00 for meds plus $2,000.00 for assisted hatching). Change that number people! $33,000.00!!!! IF I am lucky enough to even have embryos transferred! More like a $33,000.00 fart if you ask me. Might as well fart in the dark.

:: I am having to chase that nurse around like a silly 13 year old girlfriend chases her boyfriend. She is no longer my nurse. She is now in charge of the ovum donor program! Can you imagine what those people are going through? Paying for IVF and a donor with this idiot in charge of the meds and scheduling?

First IVF cycle she:

:: forgot to call in my BCP RX,

:: did not call in my FSH order on the all important day 3 (she stamped a red "FAXED" in my chart. Sometimes the domino of idiots occurs where one idiot fell into another one. Like if my fax actually did get misplaced at the hospital in the town I live in. Unlucky for Dumbass, I know the CEO of the hospital and his wife is a NP and they had their good friend at the lab waiting all day for that fax. My NP friend finally wrote the order for me so that I could finally get my blood drawn)

:: My first ultrasound appointment with Dr. Beautiful resulted with me spilling the beans on my little dumb nurse. I told my doctor: "I will hang by my toe nails and sing a show tune to have a baby......but I need a little bit of help here". She is the one who pointed to the red "FAXED" stamp and the note that the BCPs were called in etc... I couldn't bare to tell her that those notes in my chart were a lie. I KNOW they were a lie. But, hey, I had to move on. It was time for me to enter my pool of calm.

:: Next appointment, dumbass asked urgently why I hadn't gone to genetic counseling yet (it was mandatory for the PGD study I was in) and why I didn't read my information about the fact - I ENDED UP READING MY ENVELOPE PACKAGE 10 or MORE TIMES AND THERE WAS NOT ONE MENTION OF GENETIC COUNSELING - the bitch forgot to tell me and tried to make me feel like an idiot. Evil people. EVIL.

:: My first ultrasound after stimulation was not even in the appointment book. Dr. Beautiful had to come quick just before a retrieval surgery to look at me with her vaginal camera.

:: I was one day late taking my injections of Follistim because dumbass didn't take care of the PGD meds. Yes. I had no meds for day 1 of stim. M. had to drive two days in a row to Stanford to get them for me.

:: I called 2 weeks after IVF#1 failure and she told me how sorry she was and told me I didn't have any embryos! No?? I was told I had 9. She said "no". Lord help me........but there is more.........

:: When I phoned on a Friday to speak to my doctor about a possible IVF#2, she said that my doctor had left for the day, that she would talk to her on Monday and call me back with what Dr. Beautiful suggested. I finally called her almost a full week later. Guess what people..........the bitch was on vacation all week! That dumbass had the nerve to tell me (a woman crying on the phone) that she would do such and such on a Monday when she KNEW she was going on vacation all that next week. HUH???? Help me out here.

I ended up calling a receptionist to get me in for a consult with Dr. Beautiful. I would drive the 2 plus hours to talk directly with my doctor. I refused to let dumbass be involved.

Now back to the meds. I did not feel comfortable with the verbal "i'll get you your meds" statement.

I was desperate people. I have this never ending faith in human beings that they really just make mistakes and everything from now on will be right. 1 + 1 = 2. I just want things to add up.

Note to Julianna: If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and acts like a duck, it is a duck. Quit being so surprised.

Not that anyone is still reading, not that it matters, but someone at stanford.edu reads my blog regularly. If you have any pull and if any of this outrages you as much as it does me, check into this nurse...will ya? My name is not usual so it shouldn't be difficult to look me up. I'll sit on a witness stand. I am scheduled for an ultrasound on Friday so I should be even easier to find.

Back to IVF#2.

:: I get a call last week from a pharmacy in Boston that my order has been called in. Yes.
Total = $5,756.00
Pharmacy wants money and wants to mail me the meds. Huh? I thought they were covered.

:: I called dumbass three times last week. Dumbass is not coming to the phone. Dumbass relays message through receptionist that she is not my nurse anymore, that she is in charge of ovum donor now as if I should be impressed with her promotion.

:: I need my meds taken care of before my next ultrasound. I even talked to the doctor in charge of the study I am going to be a part of (letrozole study) to find out what meds are covered in that study. Maybe $1,000.00 worth and even those meds were on the pharmacy list for me to pay for. Dr. Letrozole said that he would get that adjusted and have the nurse call with the updated prescription. "NO!!! NO!!! NOT HER!!!!! Don't let that bitch do anything related to me or my case!!!"- I wanted to scream into the phone.

Here is the dilemma:

I want the meds. I need the meds.

If I piss dumbass off, I will NEVER get the meds she promised.

My new nice nurse knows nothing about the meds and can't get me any meds. Actually, she was surprised when I explained last week why I was still leaving messages for dumbass nurse even after being told of her promotion.

If I get dumbass in trouble after raising more hell than the devil tomorrow, she may "accidentally" drop my embryo filled petri dish in three weeks.

I am prostituting myself. Being nice and friendly because I need something.

If M. has to add meds to his bill, we are canceling.

I AM PISSED.

:: Footnote: Bravelle ($1,200.00 worth)was one of the meds called in and that is not even on my protocol!

:: I am on a completely different protocol than last time. I know because I read my new schedule and was surprised. Why am I on a different protocol when I responded so well last time? I am worried that this is a fuck up.

Recap: Meds were to be taken care of. Meds called in for me to pay for included everything including study meds and even meds not on my protocol. If M. has to pay for meds we are canceling IVF#2.

"What do the stupid people do?" I asked my husband. "What do the stupid people do who just buy the meds that the pharmacy says are ordered?"

"Stupid people never have to deal with IVF, they reproduce like roaches." He answered.

"Oh yeah. I forgot."

I do like my new nurse on the phone. She is just fully unaware of the whispered promises of DUMBASS nurse. I need to get it taken care of tomorrow (Tuesday) which is my work day. How does a dental hygienist talk on the phone while seeing patients? SHE DOESN'T.

Is it any wonder I have been wanting to put my head in an oven for the past week? I have been beaten down. The fog of overload has had me hiding in a cave.

I am getting up. I am getting dressed. I am washing AND blow drying my hair and I may even give myself a little BAIN de SOLEIL tan while I am at it.

The dumbass bitch will wish I was in my pool of calm. I will be entering my pool of calm when I start my injections in 2 weeks.

I have a lot to do until then.


DO NOT FUCK WITH ME