I just finished snuggling with my husband and told him I need him to help me today.

Given that I cannot be knocked out, I cannot get drunk, I cannot run and I need the next two days to pass by.......

What is a girl to do?

He is going to go to the grocery store with me - thrills.

Hmmmmmm........that should take up about an hour and a half.

I told my lovely M. to just ignore me today. I am WAY bitchy and annoyed with everything and anything and everybody. I need him to be a bigger man today than usual and just try to be patient with me because the last thing I need is for us to get in an argument before he goes out of town for a week.

He feels very positive that I am pregnant and tries to convince me not to worry.

The odd thing is that I have been able to relax and calm myself down until the past couple of days. I think the sum of the past month has caught up with me. Perhaps it is only possible to ignore stress and fears for a limited time and then it catches up with you.

I caress my belly all the time and try to take deep breaths and be calm and I try to do the best I can for their sake. Do they even feel me encouraging them? Is it possible to help them along with sheer will?

It is actually quite arrogant of me to think that I have that much power over my little embryos. What if everything is random? It is already decided, and I just have to wait. There are no short cuts. There are no secrets.

I need to try to keep busy for the next couple of days lest I become certifiably crazy.

Interestingly, I have absolutely NO desire to do a HPT. No desire whatsoever. I will not believe it if I see a faint line, I will not believe it if I see no line, I will not believe it if it screamed the results to me in five different languages. I hate HPT's, they have never served me well and they don't work in my house.

Tuesday......tuesday............t u e s d a y.......please get here.