Lady Of Le Leche Chapel 

This is the oldest church in the United States built in 1537. This is where I got married. It is also where people come to pray to get pregnant.

After 37 years, I finally met the man I was going to marry. I wanted a nice wedding and M. wanted to elope. I have a HUGE family in South Carolina and he has a small family in Boston. If we got married in Charleston, S.C. it would almost be embarrassing how old I was and how many people would be there. I don't know why that bothered me so much then, but it did. I didn't want to be an older bride acting like a 21 year old. I decided on a small chapel. The hunt was on for a charming chapel to get married in and I found it on the internet. My family has golf homes in Ponte Vedra Beach near Jacksonville, Florida so I was very familiar with the area. The Mission of Nombre De Dios is in St. Augustine and was built in 1537 and is the first shrine to Mary.

I am not Catholic, was raised Baptist actually, and the ONLY reason I could get married there was because M. was Catholic. M. is not particularly religious but what mattered to the Archdiocese was that one of us was Catholic. After innumerable classes, meeting with Priests and psychological marriage tests and classes, we were finally given the go ahead to get married there. People go through the Catholic checklist to get married in Cathedrals, very few people go through all of that to get married in a teensy chapel. There are not very many weddings at that chapel for that very reason. Only 24 people can fit in the tiny chapel on 5 acres. It is a beautiful setting and the pictures do not do it justice.

Chapel 



So, three years later, it is rather ironic that the main heartache in my life has been infertility.

There are MANY things I have done in the quest to become a mother. If anyone had any suggestions, I did it just in case:
:: painted my bedroom yellow
:: never had a family picture on a north wall
:: don't ever sit on concrete because the earth will draw all of the energy out of you
:: kokopelei under my bed with his horn up
:: pillows under hips for 20 minutes - thought "hell, if that works, a yoga shoulder stand would be better so I have struck a yoga pose naked just after sex (it is one thing to see your body naked, it is QUITE another to see it upside down naked! - thank goodness the deed had been done or M. would have surely lost any erection seeing my poochy belly and breasts sag like that!)
:: I wear certain gems
:: I speak in positive affirmations (when we have a baby this will be the nursery)

If someone told me walking zig zag helps one become pregnant, I would never have walked a straight line again.



My family, being as they are so helpful, got me some prayer cards for motherhood and also requested prayers at the Mission in St. Augustine. I have had those prayer cards everywhere you can imagine - on my bedside table, by my phone, near my make up mirror, in my car, in my wallet.

There are prayers to Our Lady of Le Leche and to St. Gerard. Every time I am in Florida, I go back to our chapel and pray.

So, I present to you the prayers for motherhood (there is also a prayer to Our Lady of Le Leche for a safe pregnancy and delivery for anyone who is interested).

Statue 



Prayer to Our Lady of la Leche
Lovely Lady of la Leche, most loving mother of the Child Jesus, and my mother, listen to my humble prayer. Your motherly heart knows my every wish, my every need. To you only, His spotless Virgin Mother, has your Divine Son given to understand the sentiments which fill my soul. Yours was the sacred privilege of being the Mother of the Savior. Intercede with him now, my loving Mother, that, in accordance with His will, I may become the mother of other children of our heavenly Father. This I ask, O Lady of la Leche, in the Name of your Divine Son, My Lord and Redeemer. Amen.
http://www.oldcity.com/sites/mission/prayer.html





St. Gerard 
Prayer For Motherhood
O glorious Saint Gerard, powerful intercessor before God, and wonder worker of our day, I call upon you and seek your help. You who always fulfilled God's will on earth, help me to do God's holy will. Intercede with the Giver of life, from whom all parenthood proceeds, that I may conceive and raise children who will please God in this life, and be heirs to the kingdom of heaven.
Amen.
http://www.scborromeo.org/prayers/gerard2.html

So, tomorrow is my retrieval and I will be praying fervently. I believe in prayer. It is a source of strength for me. As I have said before, I don't think that anyone has ever left me and thought I was particularly religious. I am privately religious. I lean on God a lot when I feel weak.

Needless to say, tomorrow I will be "weak".

My heart is so full of hope and my mind is so full of anticipation.

I don't know what I will do if this IVF fails. M. and I will not adopt nor will we do another IVF. I will post about that later perhaps, but suffice is to say, this IS it for us.

I felt the most anxiety last time after the eggs were retrieved. I was praying and willing angels to look after them. I imagined angels protecting them.

After tomorrow morning. my beautiful eggs will be in the hands of someone else. Someone who I do not know, but whom I trust with my children's lives.

It will be completely out of my hands after 9:00 a.m. - retrieval is scheduled for 8:30.

I pray for a miracle.