When and if I ever get pregnant,
I shall be obnoxious.
With maternity clothes at four weeks, that say "and baby makes three"
And I shall engage others in conversations, that are all about me
I'll have baby showers galore, and always want more
I will paint a pretty nursery, and the baby will want for naught
I shall be polite and strict, and brag about our tot
When the tot turns to teen, I will be the queen
For when he gets older, I will never have to clean
I will not hear complaints of siblings, or anything else he might have missed
For when my tot is a teen, I will be getting my ass kissed
For if it not for me,
.....................................he might never have breathed.
