I spoke with a psychologist once about relationships and meeting people in various ways. Here is what I learned:

During a certain period in my life I decided to let friends set me up on blind dates. After spending wonderful hours on the phone and getting very excited about Mr. SoPerfectForMe, I was always stunned with disappointment when I actually sat with the man in person on our date.

I was starting to question myself and my instincts. How could I be so interested and involved on the phone to only have it fizzle when I saw them. I never, ever had a good blind date. The worst part was telling friends why I didn't like their other wonderful friend who I was to have so much in common with.

This psychologist told me that when you meet someone face to face, you can't project what you want onto that person like you can on the telephone. Face to face, you pick up on body language, eye contact and gestures. On the phone, it is only speech tones and inclinations. I could project more wonderful qualities I wanted in a man on them when I was on the phone.

This psychologist even went on to say that people meeting on the internet are even further removed. You can project many more things onto the typed words of people online.

Projecting can be good or bad.

If I went to a website about how to be a good salesperson, I will probably project my dislike for pushy sales people onto any brilliant advise and it is doubtful that anyone on that website will say anything that makes me think highly of them.

On the other hand, if I went to a website about how to be a volunteer for let's say......Meals On Wheels, I'd be more impressed with what those people had to say only because I am already projecting good things onto the volunteers and project.

At first, going to infertility blogs, I really liked everybody. Even if they had drastically opposing views, I still really liked them in spite of differences in lifestyle or whatever. As you go through the process, you get attracted to some blogs more than others.

There are so many blogs and it is impossible to read all of them regularly. The natural progression is to go to the ones you are attracted to for whatever reasons. So, my projections on others, made me pick my "favorites list".

If I am face to face with someone and we are disagreeing, I am more apt to be more civil. If I am on the phone with someone, I am more apt to get a little bit more harsh and if I am upset online and typing, then it can be even more raw. I assume this is the same for just about everyone.

Personally, I only want to read infertility blogs, not religious or political blogs. Things change, people change, blogs change.

I think it is prudent of me to always remember the projections that I am extending and also the projections that I am receiving.

It is more prudent of me to remember that emotions are more volatile online. What can't be said in person is ranted easily here on the internet.


I don't have much to say about my infertility lately other than it is still here. I finally ovulated about 10 days late and timed intercourse and feel rather silly. I'm glad I am taking a break from IVF for a few months. I need to rest. I am tired.