I am told I need to pray about my situation.

So, why doesn't God want me to have children?

I know why.

I am dying.

I will be dead in a few years, and as family and friends view my body in my casket, they will speak of how the Lord knew what He was doing in not allowing me to ever have a baby.

It would be such a terrible fate to have their mother die so young.



This does not sit well with my loved ones when I answer their consoling "everything works out for the best", "God has a plan", "the Lord knows best", "trust in the Lord".

For some reason, they gasp when I tell them that I have figured out why I cannot get pregnant.

If it is truly meant to be that I not have children, there is only one reason that makes sense.

I am doomed to death soon.

I could survive a divorce with my children.

I could survive the death of my husband with my children.

I am not saying that it would not be difficult, but what would be impossible is if I died young, and my husband was left with small children. Most likely, they would need to live with one of my sisters. Not that my dear husband would be a bad father, he is just not capable of being a mother also and he would know that my children would need a good mother.

So, if all of this is truly the Lord's will, I know why.

May God bless my soul.