Okay. Admittedly..........I should not be posting right now.

My lovely husband and I have just returned from a magnificent wine event that started this afternoon and I may have had too many tastings. I know I had too many appetizers but I never seem to be able to admit when I have had too much wine. I sooooo needed a magnificent day like today. The weather was beautiful and the company was fantastic...........I can't even begin to tell you how magnificent the surroundings were.............I would link the winery's website but that would out me, so... I must resist. Suffice is to say, they have a wonderful area for social functions.......lavender imported from France and a lake with two mating swans to boot. I am as full as a tic. The food was incredible.

I got home about two hours ago and after catching up on some blogs and adding to my new one, I became possessed to post again here.

The internet if full of millions and millions of people. With those millions of people, comes infidels. Thousands upon thousands of infidels. It is so hard to remain unblemished in this blog world.

It is difficult to remain vulnerable and honest. The easy thing is to put on a happy, amazing, brave face. THAT is what is easy. To make oneself vulnerable and to continue to do so, in spite of comments from morons of the universe, is amazingly brave.

FUCK THE TROLLS.

That is what I say. FUCK THE TROLLS.

If I ask for advise, I will be very clear. If I don't ask for advise, then don't bother.

I am guilty of giving assvice on some blogs. I hope that the recipients found the humor and love somewhere deep down inside of my stupid meaning.

After reading some of my favorite blogs, I became inspired to write this post tonight.

I HATE THE BOSSES WIFE.

I ABHOR HER.

She has been stimming for a couple of weeks and her tentative retrieval date is tomorrow morning. I should not tell you how I wish for that bitch to have a failed IVF. I should never really type that or really mean it like I do.

Anyone who has read my blog recently knows my history. I have had two back-to-back failed IVF's that have almost destroyed the thought of me ever having a gut belly laugh again as long as I live. I have not laughed really hard in the past several months since my heart has been so incredibly broken.

TBW (The Bosses Wife) still laughs shallowly and stupidly when she talks to me about her fear of her first IVF and she chuckles while she tells me she is so scared of it really succeeding because she tells me every Tuesday and Wednesday that I work in her husband's office, that she really doesn't want a baby.

If I had a voodoo doll, I would stick pins in her groin. I REALLY WOULD.

That fucking bitch is going to get pregnant with her first and irritating IVF and she will probably have boy/girl twins.

Last week this is what The Bosses Wife said:

"I have five follicles on my right side and six on my left but I am a "late bloomer" they said...........so I have had to double my medications but the great news is my doctor said that I have a 75% chance of this working! Isn't that wonderful!"

"I don't know if Dr. Boss can take off work when they transfer the babies to me and when I told my RE doctor that I could come alone, he said "what are you going to tell your twins when they ask where their father was when they were given life" and TBW laughed so much between every word when she told me what she told her doctor..........: "I will tell my twins that they have two fathers, the doctor who transplanted them and their real father who had to work.........hahhahahaahahahahahahahahhahaa"

"Julianna, since you don't work on Fridays, do you want to come to my appointment with me to see how big my follicles have gotten? You can come for the retrieval too if you want to."


This will be a great week to leave. TBW will not be able to work Tuesday and Wednesday so I will not be subjected to her crap.

How can TBW's doctor really tell her that her chances of success are so huge right now? She has eleven follicles, she is a late bloomer and she is having to double her stim meds? How can her doctor be so incredibly positive?

More than anything, I cannot understand how anyone can be so insensitive that they would say so much to me........someone who is honest and clear about her pain.

I can only surmise that TBW is a cunt.

When I get to the low country of South Carolina, I am going to seek out the voodoo princess who was featured in "Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil" and I will pay her whatever she wishes to place a magnificent hex on my bosses wife.


I will be so incredibly happy if that bitch doesn't get pregnant.


I will be so incredibly PISSED OFF AT THE WORLD if that bitch has a positive beta in two weeks.





A note about my new blog. I wanted to document a separate, less infertile account of my journey south. It is a very raw account of personal experiences and is written for me to deal with some life experiences. Infertility is very much there, but it is not the center of my angst, so I decided to blog about it separately. I may be venting a lot over there but I will surely be back here in two weeks.


Another note to my hateful troll: unlucky for you, my husband used to be involved with an internet security company and although he is not interested in my blog, he did come here to find out a lot about you. Even though I deleted your latest comments, I have them copied. When you wished for my plane to crash and my dog to die...........well............you kind of went a bit far. My husband has found out a lot about you and if you post one more time you will be hearing from us/him. Take my advise........listen to me clearly..........KNOCK IT OFF.



there............



very good..................................




time for night night.